with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
