Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it because I queefed?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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