Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
