How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
