On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
