you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
