can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
