in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
