i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
