Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
