During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
