i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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