I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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