fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
