Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
