I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
