I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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