Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
