there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
