Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
love makes seman taste better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
