Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
