I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
