I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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