Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
