I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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