Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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