im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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