Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
