You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize