Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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