and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There r osticjed everywhere
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
