That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
