Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
