My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
