Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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