i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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