actually, I'm a sock model
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
