Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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