i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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