there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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