he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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