In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
