Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this will be a night to untag.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
