on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just pee around me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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