My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Come see our sink grown plant.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
