woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I should be sponsored by Trojan
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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