just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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