so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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