I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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