You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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